


raindrops, monsoons, rivers

by londoneyedgirl



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: (supposedly), M/M, Pining, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-25 13:33:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12036930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/londoneyedgirl/pseuds/londoneyedgirl
Summary: baekhyun loves jongin, quietly, quietly, in a way he does nothing else. he loves him, quietly, quietly, and watches jongin move under the lights.





	raindrops, monsoons, rivers

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in like, two hours. the inspiration for this was: i was depressed and i saw a screenshot of baek's last scene in the power mv and i thought he looked sad. obviously, i, the queen of Making Everything About Jongin, felt like writing unrequited love and pining kaibaek. so, here it is!
> 
> i admit i wish i'd work longer on this. if i had time, this would be longer, for sure, but i've got two WIPs and a deadline and i'm already scolding myself for writing this drabble lol
> 
> anyway! hope you like it!!

baekhyun loves jongin quietly, quietly, in a way he does nothing else. he loves him, quietly, quietly, and watches jongin move under the lights. 

like raindrops fall onto the ground - with a splash, but with a noise not all pay attention - baekhyun falls for jongin.

jongin is younger than him. he stays quiet, works himself to the bone and, thus, is tired most of the time. more often than not, the sight baekhyun catches the most of jongin is of the younger brushing his eyes with the backs of his hands, slowly, and calling the others for another run of the choreography.

they’re different in so many ways. jongin isn't the silent, brooding type as people like to think he is, but he isn't exactly much of a talkative person, either, especially with people he doesn't know very well. it takes baekhyun months to get with jongin what he got with others in days, and only a couple of others, in weeks. baekhyun settles on the opposite side of the interaction spectrum, can befriend anyone in less than five minutes, knows their parents and pets’ names in ten. baekhyun is extroverted, is wide smiles, is loud.

but quietly, quietly, he watches jongin stay behind after practice to rehearse the choreography _“just one more time, hyung, i won’t take long”_ , even when baekhyun can barely lift an arm anymore and knows jongin must be even more tired than he is, for he always starts before the others, as well.

quietly, quietly, he watches jongin take deep breaths and push his hair off his eyes, watches him hit move after move as though his back isn't screaming in pain.

baekhyun is a bit of an outsider when he arrives. he's got months of training, and jongin has been training for years, and baekhyun isn't intimidated easily, but jongin intimidates him.

but junmyeon introduces them, and jongin bows when he tells baekhyun his name. his lips turn into a pout when he says baekhyun’s name, tells him _“we’ll make it, baekhyun-hyung”_ and baekhyun feels the fondness creeping up onto him, calls it endearment.

it's years later that quietly, quietly, he decides to call it love.

the maknaes stick together, most of the time. jongin also likes to hang around junmyeon and chanyeol, at times, and falls easily into a bit of skinship with kyungsoo, as well. but no one makes baekhyun think, no one makes baekhyun wish to trade places like sehun.

baekhyun knows it makes sense that jongin hangs out the most with sehun. they’re the same age, have known each other for a while, and jongin's role in the group is more similar to sehun's than baekhyun’s.

still, when sehun, every once in a while, stays behind to practice a little longer with jongin, baekhyun wonders why can't he do the same. when sehun and jongin decide to stick together on their free days and go out to explore, baekhyun wonders why and he doesn't know why he even bothers.

quietly, quietly, he watches as sehun holds on to jongin's arm, calls him to get bubble tea with him. quietly, quietly, baekhyun thinks it's the fact that he isn't everybody’s favorite that bothers him, and files the feeling under disappointment when it should be filed under jealousy.

jongin's dancing catches everyone’s eyes - men, women, children. it's mesmerizing, and his stage presence is one that can’t be paralleled.

everyone knows it, baekhyun himself does, has noticed it time and time again and felt proud. but mc's point it out, and while jongin blushes, bashful, and the woman’s eyes run from the top of jongin's head to the tip of his toes, then back up again. she eats him with her eyes, and jongin looks at the her, smiling in that way he does that charms everyone. baekhyun feels something in him, something that he can't understand what it is and what does it mean and that this time he can't explain, and all he knows is that he doesn't want the woman to look at jongin like that, and all he knows is that he wants jongin to smile at him like that instead.

he doesn't know where the thought comes from, and it feels like his blood runs cold. it must be quietly, quietly that he realizes that he's in love with jongin, but the sound of his heart pounding hard in his ribcage feels so, so loud in his ears.

in that very night, he falls into bed and he can't sleep. there's a feeling fighting to be acknowledged, and it'll make itself heard. baekhyun clutches at his in the darkness of the room and every single interaction he's ever had with jongin flashes in front of his eyes - jongin bowing to him, soft hair falling in front of his eyes and the sudden need to run a hand through it; baekhyun watching jongin touch his lips with the tip of his fingers, a curiosity to the way his lips curled as though to kiss it; baekhyun watching jongin drape himself all over sehun and the wish to interfere; jongin helping him with a part of a choreography and the flutter of his heart when jongin’s hand brushed the very bit of skin of his hip that showed when he raised his arms.

jongin and his big, beautiful eyes on him and how his heart skipped a beat when he was the sole focus of them; jongin and showing pictures of how big their dogs have gotten and setting up playdates for them; jongin and how warm he felt when he fell asleep on baekhyun’s shoulder, easy, comfortable, pliant.

like the rain pours in a monsoon - hard, heavy, and short-term - baekhyun realizes he's in love.

it's easy to love in secret. baekhyun's not one to be quiet about things, but he's always been good at being quiet about the things that matter. loving jongin quietly, quietly, comes naturally to him.

it does become awfully hard not to be self-aware about actions and words and touches from then on. there'll be touches on baekhyun's lower back that’ll have him shivering from head to toe, hairs on his arms sticking up; and there'll be the gentle press of their thighs together, making baekhyun want to press closer; and there'll even be the gentle touch of their hands together, sometimes, that'll have baekhyun wanting to hold on forever. there'll be all of this, but baekhyun learns how to cope. quietly, quietly. and sure, sometimes he’ll catch himself looking at jongin with a lot more adoration in his eyes than it could ever be considered platonic, but he supposes that if he manages to slip only once in a while, it'll go by unnoticed.

 _“hyung, did you ask not to put cucumber in your naengmyun?”_ jongin’s deep voice steals his attention and it’s caring, always caring, and he falls deeper for it.

and then jongin asks sehun if he's tried the meat with naengmyun before, tongue slipping snugly between his teeth with a playful smile, and baekhyun is brought back to the reality that no matter how much jongin shows he cares, that’ll always mean exactly that: that he cares. it won't mean he loves baekhyun back. it won't mean jongin will ever reciprocate his feelings. he tells himself that's okay.

like a deep river feels when you're drowning - bottomless, bottomless, hopeless, helpless - baekhyun knows he'll never get jongin's love in the way he wants. he smiles, quietly, quietly, as the one he loves floats away.


End file.
